Life has been busy and ever going onward (but when does it not?). I didn’t share this originally, but I have since changed my mind and decided it’s important to share. Back in September 2017, we got pregnant as we had so been hoping, then tragically lost the baby at 10 weeks, mourned, prayed for peace, laughed, cried, prayed some more. So many friends helped us through our loss, and the Lord answered our prayers for peace, and a truly unfathomable and deep peace it was, and often, still is. We had a nephew and niece born, birthdays to celebrate, family in town, late nights with friends and good food. We bought a house. We grew in ways that previously seemed unlikely, and though we hated the cost, we loved the Lord and trusted in His assuring embrace.
We prayed for another baby, though we were scared of experiencing loss. But the Lord provided, and now we have a happy, charming, and quite chubby, little 5 month old whom we adore. I admit that it is… strange, to think that had our first baby been born, we would not now have our dear daughter. We are so thankful for her. But, as I am sure any parent would, I look forward to the time when we will meet our first son or daughter, who is with our dear Father even now.
I do want to say one more thing on this; if you experience the loss of your unborn baby, please tell someone. Your friends, family, both. Even if you had not yet announced the happy news, you should tell them of your loss. It can feel so lonely and dark, but your loved ones want to help you! You lost your baby who, for weeks, maybe even months, had taken up so much of your thoughts, whose name you were already thinking of, whose room you were decorating, and then they were suddenly taken from you. Don’t suffer that alone. If you prefer anonymity, please write to me, and I will cry with you and comfort you as best I can.
Though I still miss Baby B, as we affectionately call him or her, I feel I cherish our daughter even more than I would have. And for that, I am grateful!
Even in the sorrow, there is beauty and goodness to be found. You must persist in your search for them, but they are there, bright and waiting, like little pearls among the sand.
Finding Milk & Honey 